It's Been A Long Time Coming

Fuck the "free" world.

Hey guys, how have you all been? It's been quite sometime since I've blogged. I've kinda kept up with those of you who have blogged, though. So much has happened that I've been putting off telling the tales. But they are, afterall, cool stories, bro.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I drove to Phoenix to pick up my friends Sean and Kyle. That trip was awesome. On the way down, I got really excited. When I started going down the big downhill sweepers at 70+mph, I felt alive. Then rolling onto the 202, making it to Phoenix, one of the first real testiments to the fact that I need NO ONE, that...that fucking felt great. Then getting a little lost, that didn't matter. I didn't panick, I just asked for directions, I was just 1 turn away the entire time, I figured as much... most of this is meaningless to you. I couldn't care less to be frank. I don't live for anyone, I live for myself, and I blog for myself. Maybe you're lucky enough to be a passenger in my life for a while, but you're just along for the ride, you're not navigating.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long post... I have a lot on my mind.

The ride back, with kyle and sean now onboard, that seemed like it took long, but I think we were just having fun. I mean, there's nothing better than hitting 115, with my spedometer only reading to 85, flying by cars, and just having fun. Someday, recklessness will get me killed. I'll die with a smile on my face. How many other people can say that? Not too many...

I've also had a realization, brought on my an XKCD. But it's still interesting to think about this. There are sheeple, we all know this. They go about life doing thesame things. If you're a Fight Club fan, these people hold on to their possesions and likely obtain these things from Ikea. So these people are the ordinary. Then there are black sheeple. These are the people that understand the existance of sheeple and they think that because of this, they can become unique. What they don't understand is there are countless more of people thinking the exact same thing, "I am different." That's fine, I'm not knocking these people, it's a pretty happy way to live, but you're not a black sheep, you're a black sheeple. The final group of people are the outcasts, misfits, and geniuses. These are the people that are truly unique. They don't need to give themselves mental pep talks to make themselves think they're unique, they might not even think about it at all. They just are. These are the people who are naturally different. They do their own thing, they don't try to not conform, and thus conform, no, they are just themselves.

Anyways, food for my thought.

Highlights of Show Low:
Bruno (for the most part)
Half Blood Prince
Rope Swing
Cliff diving
hanging with friends.
late night hide and go seek
young love
heartbreak
endless inside jokes, references, and memes
Having my best friends there with me through it all

Iunno, I'm not feeling the want to go into detail right now, or ever... I don't know.. If you really want to know, fucking talk to me, I do exist in a more substantial form than words on your computer screen.

So we decided to leave for San Diego at about 6 o'clock at night wednesday. We stopped in Tempe for a late dinner and gas, then again in Yuma, for gas and energy drinks. I love driving, I'd love to do it for a career, but there are very limited job possibilites there... anyone up to sponser me?

Crashed at Kyles that night, didn't want to be rude to my grandma and grandpa. Showed up at their house at about 10:30 Thursday. My grandma said it was the best surprise of her life, and only the second time she'd ever been truly surprised. That was the best feeling... knowing my grandparents were that happy to see me, and then my grandpa told me that he was proud of me and trusted me completely. My Gramps is a very old fashion kind of guy, you don't earn that kind of respect from him easily. Suffice to say, It was one of the best things that's been told to me, could be number 1....made me happy....

(Kyle would like me to include the fact that as I write this he just broke 20,000 gamerscore for his Xbox Live account.)

Friday, went to the Mission Beach. Connor's family had rented a beachhouse there, it was nice. I was there for the better part of the day and succeeded in getting only slightly burnt. Looking forward to more beach days and less whiteness.

I went to church today, mostly because I can't tell my grandma that I don't want to go because I don't believe in god. Being the atheist and just general ass-hole that I am, I could not help but have some fun during mass. Saying prayers in a Sean Connery accent and singing loudly and obnoxiously to the songs were just two ways I enjoyed myself.

Anyways... It's nice to be back in San Diego. It's nice to be away from Show Low. It's nice. I needed this, like no one knew, I needed this.

Btw: if you need to reach me, call the cell: 928-242-5413

The Truth Comes In Tidal Waves

Have you ever had a dream so real, you thought it was reality?
Enjoy your matrix quote.

Everything is dark. You're blind. You see nothing. You're deaf. You hear nothing. You're mute. You cannot speak. You're numb. You feel nothing.
Or rather, there's nothing to feel.
Imagination kicks in.
There's light. You look around. You're in a familiar place on a bright sunny day.
There's sound. You hear voices and noises all around. You recognize a voice or two.
There are words. A simple greeting to stranger. A shout of joy for long lost friends.
There's warmth. From the sun's beaming rays. From the tight hug she loves to give.
Or rather, there's a memory.
You wake up, realize you're alone.
There's light. Harsh and unnatural from a florescent lamp. But you do not truly see.
There's sound. Cars rushing by. But you do not truly hear.
There are words. Choked on and muttered. But you do not truly speak.
There's nothing. Cold and empty spaces. You do not truly feel.
Or rather, there's no desire.

I Almost Forgot

It's been a long time since I've been sad, I almost forgot what it felt like.

Thanks for reminding me, after all, the only thing worse than losing another, is losing yourself.

Fuck

That's all I have to say.

Brace For Awesome

Tomorrow, waking up at 7:30, leaving at 8:30. It's off to the races... if by races I mean Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix. From the Harbor, the winboat will disembark between noon and 1. Cargo will be two awesome people: Kyle Hudson and Sean Harris (prepare for German).

So yeah, I'm brimming with excitement in that non-sarcastic sort of way.

I just thought I'd give everyone fair warning before we destroy the city.

I have a bone to pick...

... up because it fell on the floor. :|

I love someone

and it's not you.

and it's definitely not me.

Nah, it's my parents. I've never had parental problems, they're there when I need them and they leave me alone most of the time. They let me be me, and they encourage me to do what I want (though oddly I can't always do it when I want).

My mom: "So, what are you going to do?"
Me: "Go to San Diego."
Mom: "Good, I'm glad you're going."

Hahaha, love it.

Random thought, I could really go for a good fist fight. Don't know why.. I'm not a fan of hurting people (in any way) but getting some frustration out and maybe taking a few hits to let me know I'm alive, sounds good.

Also, compliments sound 20 times better whilst you speak in a Shakespearean tongue. Thine eyes sparkle with the light of the stars.

I want to restore a car. There's this old Chevy pick-up for sale by Woody's and I wish we could buy it so me and my dad could restore it together, I think that would be beyond awesome.

I think the only way the up coming road trip could be better, is if we were doing it on bikes. I'd love to break in a new R6 by opening up the throttle heading west on the 8.
.... oh, and the only thing better than that is having a hot red-head on the back. hahahaha
I sound like my grandfather, though he's more partial to blondes.

So now I'm just writing to hear the keys and because I'm bored, so I'm done.

Peace and Love