It's Been A Long Time Coming

Fuck the "free" world.

Hey guys, how have you all been? It's been quite sometime since I've blogged. I've kinda kept up with those of you who have blogged, though. So much has happened that I've been putting off telling the tales. But they are, afterall, cool stories, bro.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I drove to Phoenix to pick up my friends Sean and Kyle. That trip was awesome. On the way down, I got really excited. When I started going down the big downhill sweepers at 70+mph, I felt alive. Then rolling onto the 202, making it to Phoenix, one of the first real testiments to the fact that I need NO ONE, that...that fucking felt great. Then getting a little lost, that didn't matter. I didn't panick, I just asked for directions, I was just 1 turn away the entire time, I figured as much... most of this is meaningless to you. I couldn't care less to be frank. I don't live for anyone, I live for myself, and I blog for myself. Maybe you're lucky enough to be a passenger in my life for a while, but you're just along for the ride, you're not navigating.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long post... I have a lot on my mind.

The ride back, with kyle and sean now onboard, that seemed like it took long, but I think we were just having fun. I mean, there's nothing better than hitting 115, with my spedometer only reading to 85, flying by cars, and just having fun. Someday, recklessness will get me killed. I'll die with a smile on my face. How many other people can say that? Not too many...

I've also had a realization, brought on my an XKCD. But it's still interesting to think about this. There are sheeple, we all know this. They go about life doing thesame things. If you're a Fight Club fan, these people hold on to their possesions and likely obtain these things from Ikea. So these people are the ordinary. Then there are black sheeple. These are the people that understand the existance of sheeple and they think that because of this, they can become unique. What they don't understand is there are countless more of people thinking the exact same thing, "I am different." That's fine, I'm not knocking these people, it's a pretty happy way to live, but you're not a black sheep, you're a black sheeple. The final group of people are the outcasts, misfits, and geniuses. These are the people that are truly unique. They don't need to give themselves mental pep talks to make themselves think they're unique, they might not even think about it at all. They just are. These are the people who are naturally different. They do their own thing, they don't try to not conform, and thus conform, no, they are just themselves.

Anyways, food for my thought.

Highlights of Show Low:
Bruno (for the most part)
Half Blood Prince
Rope Swing
Cliff diving
hanging with friends.
late night hide and go seek
young love
heartbreak
endless inside jokes, references, and memes
Having my best friends there with me through it all

Iunno, I'm not feeling the want to go into detail right now, or ever... I don't know.. If you really want to know, fucking talk to me, I do exist in a more substantial form than words on your computer screen.

So we decided to leave for San Diego at about 6 o'clock at night wednesday. We stopped in Tempe for a late dinner and gas, then again in Yuma, for gas and energy drinks. I love driving, I'd love to do it for a career, but there are very limited job possibilites there... anyone up to sponser me?

Crashed at Kyles that night, didn't want to be rude to my grandma and grandpa. Showed up at their house at about 10:30 Thursday. My grandma said it was the best surprise of her life, and only the second time she'd ever been truly surprised. That was the best feeling... knowing my grandparents were that happy to see me, and then my grandpa told me that he was proud of me and trusted me completely. My Gramps is a very old fashion kind of guy, you don't earn that kind of respect from him easily. Suffice to say, It was one of the best things that's been told to me, could be number 1....made me happy....

(Kyle would like me to include the fact that as I write this he just broke 20,000 gamerscore for his Xbox Live account.)

Friday, went to the Mission Beach. Connor's family had rented a beachhouse there, it was nice. I was there for the better part of the day and succeeded in getting only slightly burnt. Looking forward to more beach days and less whiteness.

I went to church today, mostly because I can't tell my grandma that I don't want to go because I don't believe in god. Being the atheist and just general ass-hole that I am, I could not help but have some fun during mass. Saying prayers in a Sean Connery accent and singing loudly and obnoxiously to the songs were just two ways I enjoyed myself.

Anyways... It's nice to be back in San Diego. It's nice to be away from Show Low. It's nice. I needed this, like no one knew, I needed this.

Btw: if you need to reach me, call the cell: 928-242-5413

The Truth Comes In Tidal Waves

Have you ever had a dream so real, you thought it was reality?
Enjoy your matrix quote.

Everything is dark. You're blind. You see nothing. You're deaf. You hear nothing. You're mute. You cannot speak. You're numb. You feel nothing.
Or rather, there's nothing to feel.
Imagination kicks in.
There's light. You look around. You're in a familiar place on a bright sunny day.
There's sound. You hear voices and noises all around. You recognize a voice or two.
There are words. A simple greeting to stranger. A shout of joy for long lost friends.
There's warmth. From the sun's beaming rays. From the tight hug she loves to give.
Or rather, there's a memory.
You wake up, realize you're alone.
There's light. Harsh and unnatural from a florescent lamp. But you do not truly see.
There's sound. Cars rushing by. But you do not truly hear.
There are words. Choked on and muttered. But you do not truly speak.
There's nothing. Cold and empty spaces. You do not truly feel.
Or rather, there's no desire.

I Almost Forgot

It's been a long time since I've been sad, I almost forgot what it felt like.

Thanks for reminding me, after all, the only thing worse than losing another, is losing yourself.

Fuck

That's all I have to say.

Brace For Awesome

Tomorrow, waking up at 7:30, leaving at 8:30. It's off to the races... if by races I mean Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix. From the Harbor, the winboat will disembark between noon and 1. Cargo will be two awesome people: Kyle Hudson and Sean Harris (prepare for German).

So yeah, I'm brimming with excitement in that non-sarcastic sort of way.

I just thought I'd give everyone fair warning before we destroy the city.

I have a bone to pick...

... up because it fell on the floor. :|

I love someone

and it's not you.

and it's definitely not me.

Nah, it's my parents. I've never had parental problems, they're there when I need them and they leave me alone most of the time. They let me be me, and they encourage me to do what I want (though oddly I can't always do it when I want).

My mom: "So, what are you going to do?"
Me: "Go to San Diego."
Mom: "Good, I'm glad you're going."

Hahaha, love it.

Random thought, I could really go for a good fist fight. Don't know why.. I'm not a fan of hurting people (in any way) but getting some frustration out and maybe taking a few hits to let me know I'm alive, sounds good.

Also, compliments sound 20 times better whilst you speak in a Shakespearean tongue. Thine eyes sparkle with the light of the stars.

I want to restore a car. There's this old Chevy pick-up for sale by Woody's and I wish we could buy it so me and my dad could restore it together, I think that would be beyond awesome.

I think the only way the up coming road trip could be better, is if we were doing it on bikes. I'd love to break in a new R6 by opening up the throttle heading west on the 8.
.... oh, and the only thing better than that is having a hot red-head on the back. hahahaha
I sound like my grandfather, though he's more partial to blondes.

So now I'm just writing to hear the keys and because I'm bored, so I'm done.

Peace and Love

Always Questions

I saw a facebook status update that said "I had a dream last night that i died.. :( Scariest effing thing of my life.. :("

I thought about it. This is what I thought.

Why is it death that scares you? Fear of the unknown. No longer being in control of what you do on this earth. The fear that there is nothing after this. The fear of being forgotten. Why do you not fear life? You don't know what's going to happen in life. You aren't always in control of your life. You are not always remembered in life. Life and death are equals, yet death is scary and life is exciting. People thrive off of not knowing what will happen to them in life. People spend their lives worrying about what will happen to them after death. "To the well trained mind, death is but the next great adventure."

I had a dream last night that I lived, it was the scariest thing of my life.

Andy's Life

The sun beat down on his face and the warm sand crept between his toes as Andy walked down Pacific Beach. The smile on his face only grew as he walked past one bikini clad babe after another. He felt thirsty, so he took a sip of the water in his hand. He found a nice little stretch of beach with really no one on it. He shook out his towel and sat down. "Now a cold beer would complete the image." he thought to himself, so he reached into his cooler and grabbed one from the bottom. He took a sip, laid back, and closed his eyes. He thought about this cute girl he was crushing on from one of his classes.
"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?"
The voice was female, calm, confident, and smiling. Andy opened his eyes in shock. What are the odds that the girl he was just thinking about had found him on that beach at that moment?
"Kirsten! Hey! What're you doing here?" he tried to keep his excitement down to a mild surprise.
"I was just strolling along with some friends when I spotted you and decided to come over. How are you?"
She had left her friends so come talk to him?
"Can't complain."
"You never can, can you?"
"Not while life is good and I'm still livin'."
She smiled. She really is beautiful.
"Mind If I join you for a while?"
Okay, leaving her friends to talk to him is one thing, but wanting to join him? What was going on? Was Kevin around somewhere and setting him up?
"Not at all. Did you want a a drink?"
"Umm, an ice-tea if you have one."
"Sure thing." He looked in the cooler and found a tea.
"Thank you kindly."
"You're most welcome milady." He smiled as she giggled. Things weren't going too bad at all.
He looked out to sea and let the salty air take him somewhere for a while. When he came back to where he was he looked at her and saw that she was smiling at him.
"There's something about you..." she trailed off as she leaned in. She's leaning in. He can't believe it. He moves forward to and closes his eyes. He can feel her there. Her lips mere centimeters away from his. They're about to meet in a fire of passion.
"ANDY, please join us back in reality!"
The entire class was now looking at him, including Kirsten a few seats away.
"Okay, time to say something funny." he thought to himself.
"Sorry, Mr. Swanson." was what he managed to actually say.
The class chuckled and Andy got red. He tried to smile at Kirsten, but she had already turned around and started chatting with her friends, probably about how much of a looser he was. So goes the life of Andy.

Story Time

So after I got home last night, after a totally awesome day with some completely awesome people, I got a phone call from Show Low PD. I guess someone recognized me at K-mart...? Iunno, so Officer Call (that was cop's name) was kinda dumb, like no variation from usual cop routine, only asking questions to try and get you to lie so they can press more charges and what not, playing the "I'm a nice guy, but really I'm a dick" card. So anyways, he already knows what went down, so I didn't bother lying and he "appreciated my cooperation" I hate cops. Talking to him wasn't the worst part, it was being treated like a 5 year old when my mom and dad talked to me about it. Faux-concern for the scratched on my foot and hand to let me know they care about me and then right into a lecture of thanks for being an idiot, you just fucked up, do you even know what you did? Fuck that, I cut off my mom and told her that I had already beaten myself up about everything she was brining up. I know they're starting a business, I know they can't afford shit like this right know. I know that I'm not going down to SD anymore. I know I'm going to have to tell kyle and sean and see if they can get their money back for their plane tickets. I KNOW I FUCKED UP. So after I told them that they left because I literally said everything they could possibly say to me. I had already laid on my bed for 2 hours thinking about how much of a fuck up I am. I felt bad for kinda taking their lecture away from them, I know how much they love to say they're disappointed in me, when I fuck up even slightly, let alone when I fuck up this grandly. "Michael, you are capable of getting much better grades than this C, we're very disappointed in you." "Michael, you were out til 4 last night, you know that's not right, you're smarter than that, we're very disappointed in you." Awesome, just because I'm the least retarded of their kids, that means I have to live perfectly conformed to what they think I should do? No, that's not how I, ME, work.

So everyone who doesn't already know will ask me to relay the story to them, so I'm going to knock out a bunch of you in at once.

The group I was with went to Kmart because we were bored and had a bit more time before people had to get home. So the girls in the group started shopping and me and zach were bored so we went out into the parking lot to ride carts down the hill. Stupid parking lot was to bumpy for any kinda of speed to we just grabbed on cart and started pushing each other around the store. All was going fine until Zach got me up to running speed and let go and I went into an en cap display. So we tell the lady it wasn't us and continue about our business until we hear the call for security to review their tapes or something like that so me and zach decide to wait in my car. Anyways that's really the whole story, the girls finished shopping. I took everyone home and went home myself.