So, balancing work and school is super hard, especially since I really can't kick my procrastinating habit. Wal-Mart isn't as bad as most people say it is. I get decent pay (More than minimum wage) and 70% of the people are okay and I love getting paid. My job is just so monotonous though. And time consuming. I mean I can get an 8 hour shift (lasts 9 hours) that literal kills all but two of the hours that I'm functioning a day. And then there's 5 classes and for some stupid reason they want me to do stuff like homework of a certain quality.
But yeah, that's my major complain. I mean the fact that my mom is barely making it month to month also seriously sucks, but we're coming to accept it. Also the lack of a father kinda sucks...
I love my Droid X though. 500 times better than an iPhone, mostly cuz it can do anything an iPhone can, it cost me less, looks sexier, and does things an iPhone can't, like say it's own name (exactly like a pokemon).
(Sorry Heather, but...) I love my girlfriend.
Also: am becoming leet hacker (or should I say "1337 |-|4<|<3r") [if you can read that congrats] well at the very least i'm becoming better aquainted with computers and certain less-than-kosher programs and what-not. Thanks are much due to one "Stewie."
Well this is how I've decided to spend my Digital Photography class tonight, which Ben's Mom is in, which is kinda weird cuz that means I have more contact with her than him and I didn't think that would ever happen.
P.S. Did anyone understand the TPS report reference? Just curious.
P.P.S. Middle-grey. That is all.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
A little spare time
It seems that all i get nowadays. Seriously my sociology class got out a little early and i'm in the library using the internet before i have to go to work. I've hated tuesdays cuz Wal-Mart has been making me work in-between my three classes today. So basically i leave home at 7 in the morening and get home around 9 at night.
Heather, I'm sorry I don't blog enough for you, but I still don't even have internet at my house and it becomes increasingly more frustrating with each passing day. I'm also sorry dinner hasn't worked out lately, but it might as soon as Friday. I gotta see what Tiffany is doing, but I have it off and she doesn't work fridays as far as i know, but she might have to go work a basketball game? I dunno, we'll see.
Things have been really bad lately. My mom is having serious trouble making it month to month as is saying that she just can't do it unless we get a serious stroke of luck. That isn't likely. Apparently she's too poor to make it, but not poor enough to get any kind of government aid. I'm trying to help the best I can, but I don't have a lot of spare income lately. She keeps talking about losing the house. It's likely she will, which is sad because she said that my dad told her to do her best to keep the house because someday it'll be valuable to her and us kids. That just makes it worse for her cuz she feels like she's breaking one of my dad's dying wishes. But she IS doing her best. I don't know... I may or may not have to find a place to stay for a couple of months to finish the semester here...
Things with Tiffany are as good as ever. She seriously is the best part of my life right now and we don't get to see each other nearly as much as we would like. But still, she's amazing.
My new phone is awesome. Droid X beats iPhone in my opinion.
Classes are alright, but i was talked into taking another class so i'm taking 5 and apparently if i get a 3.5 or higher, then i get a tuition waver. Just now am i realizing that i might not be here to utilize that. But between work fucking up my schedule and working me when i'm supposed to be unavailable and home work and actual class time i'm really close to over-loaded.
My dad's ashes came to us about a week or so ago. He was cremated on my mom's birthday. she freaked out and i came home from work to find her bawling her eyes out. sorry, i'm not paying much attention to proper capitalization.
Anyways, that's more or less the update. I'll try to blog again before the end of the month, haha.
Heather, I'm sorry I don't blog enough for you, but I still don't even have internet at my house and it becomes increasingly more frustrating with each passing day. I'm also sorry dinner hasn't worked out lately, but it might as soon as Friday. I gotta see what Tiffany is doing, but I have it off and she doesn't work fridays as far as i know, but she might have to go work a basketball game? I dunno, we'll see.
Things have been really bad lately. My mom is having serious trouble making it month to month as is saying that she just can't do it unless we get a serious stroke of luck. That isn't likely. Apparently she's too poor to make it, but not poor enough to get any kind of government aid. I'm trying to help the best I can, but I don't have a lot of spare income lately. She keeps talking about losing the house. It's likely she will, which is sad because she said that my dad told her to do her best to keep the house because someday it'll be valuable to her and us kids. That just makes it worse for her cuz she feels like she's breaking one of my dad's dying wishes. But she IS doing her best. I don't know... I may or may not have to find a place to stay for a couple of months to finish the semester here...
Things with Tiffany are as good as ever. She seriously is the best part of my life right now and we don't get to see each other nearly as much as we would like. But still, she's amazing.
My new phone is awesome. Droid X beats iPhone in my opinion.
Classes are alright, but i was talked into taking another class so i'm taking 5 and apparently if i get a 3.5 or higher, then i get a tuition waver. Just now am i realizing that i might not be here to utilize that. But between work fucking up my schedule and working me when i'm supposed to be unavailable and home work and actual class time i'm really close to over-loaded.
My dad's ashes came to us about a week or so ago. He was cremated on my mom's birthday. she freaked out and i came home from work to find her bawling her eyes out. sorry, i'm not paying much attention to proper capitalization.
Anyways, that's more or less the update. I'll try to blog again before the end of the month, haha.
Monday, December 27, 2010
(Michael) David Hair
David Alan Hair
March 30, 1950 - December 19, 2010
An amazing father
An even better man
I love and miss you Dad.
Good-bye
March 30, 1950 - December 19, 2010
An amazing father
An even better man
I love and miss you Dad.
Good-bye
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Howdy? Who the fuck says "howdy?"
So, per Heather's request I think I'm going to try to blog more often.
At the moment I'm listening to Pandora, my heavy metal station, by the way Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive apparently count as heavy metal? and Ozzy has come up 3 out of 6 times so far.
Things with Tiffany are good as always. It's been six and a half months and we've fought maybe once? I don't know if that counted or not... but as much as that is awesome it scares me? it makes no logical sense to think it but sometimes I can't help but feel like it's building up into one huge fight. Most of the time I just think it's awesome.
My dad sarted a new drug regiment and is doing better for now. It's good to see him up and about instead of stuck in bed or on the couch.
I found a source of free internet at my house. The connection is pretty bad sometimes, but it's better than nothing.
Fuck school haha. I need a break from it. Between work and school I have very little free time. I should be writing a critique for philosophy that due tonight but I can't think of what to write about.
Dinner with kara, heather, and tiffany was awesome. We need to do it more often and it turns out i'm not a bad cook so maybe it'll be our turn to do it.
Wal-Mart haha... what can I say, it's a job.
That's all I can think of. Peace out
At the moment I'm listening to Pandora, my heavy metal station, by the way Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive apparently count as heavy metal? and Ozzy has come up 3 out of 6 times so far.
Things with Tiffany are good as always. It's been six and a half months and we've fought maybe once? I don't know if that counted or not... but as much as that is awesome it scares me? it makes no logical sense to think it but sometimes I can't help but feel like it's building up into one huge fight. Most of the time I just think it's awesome.
My dad sarted a new drug regiment and is doing better for now. It's good to see him up and about instead of stuck in bed or on the couch.
I found a source of free internet at my house. The connection is pretty bad sometimes, but it's better than nothing.
Fuck school haha. I need a break from it. Between work and school I have very little free time. I should be writing a critique for philosophy that due tonight but I can't think of what to write about.
Dinner with kara, heather, and tiffany was awesome. We need to do it more often and it turns out i'm not a bad cook so maybe it'll be our turn to do it.
Wal-Mart haha... what can I say, it's a job.
That's all I can think of. Peace out
Friday, November 5, 2010
Update For People Who Still Occassionally Check Their Blogs
Hello everyone. How are you doing? Cool, cool...
This is how I'm doing:
At the moment I'm sitting in NPC's library until literally 30 seconds ago I was the only one in this room (the computer lab in the back). School has been mostly fun and more work than high school ever was (Sorry, even your class Ms. Abel.... Kathy...? whatever). I've been pumping out essays like a little asain kid pumps out shoes. Photography 101 is my favorite class I think, though I'm not terribly good at the whole film thing. I just want to pass and move on to the digital class, I think I'll do better there, and will be able to post my work somewhere for criticism. Philosophy is pretty cool, makes you think, you know? Psychology scares me as much as it intrigues me. My english class is alright, but kinda boring 60% of the time. I think I'll get straight A's, at least that't what I'm aiming and hoping for.
My family life has taken a turn for th worst in recent weeks. Two weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with stage three inoperable stomach cancer. He's going to die most likely. The Tuesday night after we found out he talked to me. It was the worst conversation I had in my life. It was also one sided mostly. I couldn't speak for trying not crying as my dad told me he was going to die and that is will most likely be long and painful. At the moment he's on morphine and some other meds, a lot of painkillers from what I understand. He has his last test today, a petscan to determine how long he has and if there is anything at all they could do. The cancer is really spread out and there's too much to kil with radiation, at least that's what the specialist told us.
My brother's wife is due with her baby any day now. I'm not going to make it down there to see Joseph Porter Hair come into the world. That sucks, but between school and work I just can't do it. I talked to him last night and he said they were probably going to make a trip up here. I hope they do, that would be really good.
My mom is holding up despite everything. She cries a lot, but that's not unexpected considering... The rest of the world isn't making it any easier on her. With winter closing in the shop is doing worse and worse each day. My dad is way past being able to work. She's worried that on top of everything she's going to lose the house and she doesn't know what she'll do...
Fuck, I don't know what I'll do either, but I'll live, I'm way more worried about her.
Sorry for the downing news. I don't even expect anyone to see this for a long time. Maybe by then I will have already gone to my first funeral.... Don't feel bad, if/when he does pass, it'll be better than him living in as much pain as he's in now.I almost hate being home because I can't stand seeing him like that. He's a tough son of a bitch, but I know what he's really feeling. I'm too much like him not to know.
On a different note, Tiffany and I just past the six month mark yesterday. There's probably a lot to talk about there, but I don't feel like now is the time.
I am still in show low, but most of the people i expect to eventually read this know that.
I think that's all the important stuff. I miss my last year of high school. When I graduated someone made a joke, "It's all down hill from here". Didn't realize it wasn't so much of a hill as a cliff.
That's probably an overstatement. It isn't that bad, but somedays are worse than others. Some are better too.
This is how I'm doing:
At the moment I'm sitting in NPC's library until literally 30 seconds ago I was the only one in this room (the computer lab in the back). School has been mostly fun and more work than high school ever was (Sorry, even your class Ms. Abel.... Kathy...? whatever). I've been pumping out essays like a little asain kid pumps out shoes. Photography 101 is my favorite class I think, though I'm not terribly good at the whole film thing. I just want to pass and move on to the digital class, I think I'll do better there, and will be able to post my work somewhere for criticism. Philosophy is pretty cool, makes you think, you know? Psychology scares me as much as it intrigues me. My english class is alright, but kinda boring 60% of the time. I think I'll get straight A's, at least that't what I'm aiming and hoping for.
My family life has taken a turn for th worst in recent weeks. Two weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with stage three inoperable stomach cancer. He's going to die most likely. The Tuesday night after we found out he talked to me. It was the worst conversation I had in my life. It was also one sided mostly. I couldn't speak for trying not crying as my dad told me he was going to die and that is will most likely be long and painful. At the moment he's on morphine and some other meds, a lot of painkillers from what I understand. He has his last test today, a petscan to determine how long he has and if there is anything at all they could do. The cancer is really spread out and there's too much to kil with radiation, at least that's what the specialist told us.
My brother's wife is due with her baby any day now. I'm not going to make it down there to see Joseph Porter Hair come into the world. That sucks, but between school and work I just can't do it. I talked to him last night and he said they were probably going to make a trip up here. I hope they do, that would be really good.
My mom is holding up despite everything. She cries a lot, but that's not unexpected considering... The rest of the world isn't making it any easier on her. With winter closing in the shop is doing worse and worse each day. My dad is way past being able to work. She's worried that on top of everything she's going to lose the house and she doesn't know what she'll do...
Fuck, I don't know what I'll do either, but I'll live, I'm way more worried about her.
Sorry for the downing news. I don't even expect anyone to see this for a long time. Maybe by then I will have already gone to my first funeral.... Don't feel bad, if/when he does pass, it'll be better than him living in as much pain as he's in now.I almost hate being home because I can't stand seeing him like that. He's a tough son of a bitch, but I know what he's really feeling. I'm too much like him not to know.
On a different note, Tiffany and I just past the six month mark yesterday. There's probably a lot to talk about there, but I don't feel like now is the time.
I am still in show low, but most of the people i expect to eventually read this know that.
I think that's all the important stuff. I miss my last year of high school. When I graduated someone made a joke, "It's all down hill from here". Didn't realize it wasn't so much of a hill as a cliff.
That's probably an overstatement. It isn't that bad, but somedays are worse than others. Some are better too.
Monday, December 28, 2009
HOLY Shit I'm Blogging!
So, at the moment it is 3:24 am in Sunny Southern California, minus the sun due to a late, or early, hour. Can't sleep. And apparently can't form complete sentences. I'm at Kyle's house and I can't stop sneezing, I think due to pet dander and shit, not that I'm really complaining (I never do that) I love all the animals and at one point this would not have bothered me at all, but I have lost my immunity.
Anyway I think I was going to blabber on about insomnia, sleep deprivation, and old Comedy Central TV shows, but I think I have something somewhat legitimate to talk about. I invite you to come with me as I travel along a flowing river of thought and ponder life's most persistent questions, feel free to decline the invitation, I probably would if I were you, but then again, I'm a douche so don't be like me.
Now, some may know I have a twitter, most will not, so I find my reposting of the following non-repitious... even though I'm repeating my own words.... okay I really need to "Stay on target!" here. Before coming to blogger I stopped by my twitter to find that pretty much everyone had stopped using it, so thus I was urged to post something to be slightly more original than everyone else! :)
This is what I wrote: My latest entry is from four months ago and it says, "Not sure what I want" funny how some things don't change
I sat there looking at the screen trying to think of something insightful, witty, charming, or just generally clever, and I noticed small light grey text beneath the text box that said, "Latest: Not sure what I want 4 months ago"
The significance lies in an earlier instance where I was responding to a facebook message and talking about my "college plans" I don't have any, and it's because I don't know what I want.
But then I remembered just before that I was on Myspace! And in a fit of stupidity, mixed emotions, and nostalgia I visited Jessyca's page. I know! I know! I'm weak! The point is, I remember trying to talk myself down from that ledge and thinking, "You didn't really want the relationship in the first place, you just want what you can't have; besides you don't even know WHAT you want...that is, except to get some action from time to time."
I am not a religious man, but I think God is trying to tell me something. Unfortunately, I don't speak Hebrew or All-Powerful-Deity, so as to what He/She is saying, I can only guess.
I'm thinking that I'm in a very mixed state right now and that this is causing me to be uncertain as to the things that I would like. I'm not sure what I want.
I've made friends and enemies in both SL and SD (btw: the fact that both places are two words and the first word starts with "s": coincidence? I think not). There are people who I can't imagine not seeing in both places, as well as people that I'd rather not ever set eyes on again. Arizona is the cheaper choice and it would make my mum happy, being closer to home. San Diego holds my memories and, in my opinion, better schools (though I think I'm factoring in location). And then what happens if I take the easy way out and have Uncle Sam make my decisions for me for the next four years? I don't fucking know.
Do I miss her or the idea of her? Is it even either or do I just think it's normal to miss your ex so I'm trying to do my best at not being relationship-retarded and in the process screwing up even more? I liked having someone there for me, or did I just like the intimacy? Do I even want to try for something else, or is not worth the drama and inevitable hurt?
I think I might have hit one of the many nails on its head. Maybe you know you've found someone right when your willing to risk the hurt for them. When the good outweighs the bad, maybe that's the trick. But until you're hurt you can't really know if the good outweighed the bad. There's a certain amount of blind faith involved. I guess that's love.
I digress. Point is it's now 4:00 and I'm quite sleepy. It was fun blogging again, but now I must leave and enter a world where everything is alright, and then I'll come back to reality and despite having put all this thought into it all, I still won't know what I want. For now, ignorance is bliss.
Anyway I think I was going to blabber on about insomnia, sleep deprivation, and old Comedy Central TV shows, but I think I have something somewhat legitimate to talk about. I invite you to come with me as I travel along a flowing river of thought and ponder life's most persistent questions, feel free to decline the invitation, I probably would if I were you, but then again, I'm a douche so don't be like me.
Now, some may know I have a twitter, most will not, so I find my reposting of the following non-repitious... even though I'm repeating my own words.... okay I really need to "Stay on target!" here. Before coming to blogger I stopped by my twitter to find that pretty much everyone had stopped using it, so thus I was urged to post something to be slightly more original than everyone else! :)
This is what I wrote: My latest entry is from four months ago and it says, "Not sure what I want" funny how some things don't change
I sat there looking at the screen trying to think of something insightful, witty, charming, or just generally clever, and I noticed small light grey text beneath the text box that said, "Latest: Not sure what I want 4 months ago"
The significance lies in an earlier instance where I was responding to a facebook message and talking about my "college plans" I don't have any, and it's because I don't know what I want.
But then I remembered just before that I was on Myspace! And in a fit of stupidity, mixed emotions, and nostalgia I visited Jessyca's page. I know! I know! I'm weak! The point is, I remember trying to talk myself down from that ledge and thinking, "You didn't really want the relationship in the first place, you just want what you can't have; besides you don't even know WHAT you want...that is, except to get some action from time to time."
I am not a religious man, but I think God is trying to tell me something. Unfortunately, I don't speak Hebrew or All-Powerful-Deity, so as to what He/She is saying, I can only guess.
I'm thinking that I'm in a very mixed state right now and that this is causing me to be uncertain as to the things that I would like. I'm not sure what I want.
I've made friends and enemies in both SL and SD (btw: the fact that both places are two words and the first word starts with "s": coincidence? I think not). There are people who I can't imagine not seeing in both places, as well as people that I'd rather not ever set eyes on again. Arizona is the cheaper choice and it would make my mum happy, being closer to home. San Diego holds my memories and, in my opinion, better schools (though I think I'm factoring in location). And then what happens if I take the easy way out and have Uncle Sam make my decisions for me for the next four years? I don't fucking know.
Do I miss her or the idea of her? Is it even either or do I just think it's normal to miss your ex so I'm trying to do my best at not being relationship-retarded and in the process screwing up even more? I liked having someone there for me, or did I just like the intimacy? Do I even want to try for something else, or is not worth the drama and inevitable hurt?
I think I might have hit one of the many nails on its head. Maybe you know you've found someone right when your willing to risk the hurt for them. When the good outweighs the bad, maybe that's the trick. But until you're hurt you can't really know if the good outweighed the bad. There's a certain amount of blind faith involved. I guess that's love.
I digress. Point is it's now 4:00 and I'm quite sleepy. It was fun blogging again, but now I must leave and enter a world where everything is alright, and then I'll come back to reality and despite having put all this thought into it all, I still won't know what I want. For now, ignorance is bliss.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
One Last Time
So as most people know, I'm not going to have internet at my house anymore, something about not having the money for that, but we can still have TV which no one in my family really watches. Pisses me off.
So today I make the trip back to Show Low. My iPod, which I borrowed from my dad, ran out of juice a long time ago, so I don't think I'm going to have good music to keep me company, that's a bummer. I was also up very late last night soooo I'm probably going to fall asleep behind the wheel, crash, and die, and it will be all your fault (you know who you are).
I don't know what I want. And everyone tells me to move back here, which coming from the Show Low crowd it's kinda like "Gee thanks, I wouldn't want me around either." and that's not what is meant, but I can't help but assume the worse, because I'm me.
So yeah, I don't really know what to say, I kinda feel like this should be a farewell of sorts, but I don't think anyone really cares if I lose internet, because I see most of the people who read this at school...or I used to. I'm going to miss last years seniors a little, there was a handful of really cool people in that class.
Well, it's been real blogger community. I hope you had as much fun as I did. Thanks for sometimes commenting on the stuff I posted. Thanks for putting up with me.
Peace and love.
So today I make the trip back to Show Low. My iPod, which I borrowed from my dad, ran out of juice a long time ago, so I don't think I'm going to have good music to keep me company, that's a bummer. I was also up very late last night soooo I'm probably going to fall asleep behind the wheel, crash, and die, and it will be all your fault (you know who you are).
I don't know what I want. And everyone tells me to move back here, which coming from the Show Low crowd it's kinda like "Gee thanks, I wouldn't want me around either." and that's not what is meant, but I can't help but assume the worse, because I'm me.
So yeah, I don't really know what to say, I kinda feel like this should be a farewell of sorts, but I don't think anyone really cares if I lose internet, because I see most of the people who read this at school...or I used to. I'm going to miss last years seniors a little, there was a handful of really cool people in that class.
Well, it's been real blogger community. I hope you had as much fun as I did. Thanks for sometimes commenting on the stuff I posted. Thanks for putting up with me.
Peace and love.
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