In Response to Post Secret

I'm secretly broken despite what I said.

What was that whole Christmas thing about?

Seriously, someone forgot to tell me "'tis the season" because I didn't notice.

Anyway, sounds like everyone had a good christmas.

Semi-white with more snow on the way.

I got a good laugh seeing Ozzy mix up with yule tide cheer.

And I really hate the fact that I couldn't find my Holiday Happiness....I must have left it in my other pants; the ones that also must contain everything else I've been missing lately(not the least of which being my mind).

I tried really hard to have fun, but when all my parents do is sit on the couch watching horribly lame christmas "movies" I tend to get a little depressed.

I should be at my grandparents house, enjoying my whole families presence(not presents).

I should have gone to church, laughing on the inside at the fact that I'm still the only one in my family who knows that I'm atheist.

I should have eaten my grandmothers AWESOME cooking, not these fucking left over hot wings.

I should have been happy, like I love to be, and try to be most of the time. I willed myself to be happy, but I couldn't do it.

I should be excited to be going back to SD the beginning of January, but my mom decided to call that off.

I guess I'm being a little lame, not to mention dramatic. There were some highlights.

Like when my brother called and i talk to him. It was about noon where he was and he was already pretty hammered. He kept telling me to "get a piece of ass" and telling me that "women can smell cowards." It was pretty damn funny.

Then i got to read some blogs and everyones cheer and jokes made me a "happy panda" again.

So, now here i sit, a bit more contented, a bit less depressed, but still slightly disappointed. The fact that i had nothing under my tree doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that I had no tree(different kind of tree, think about it).

Alas, there is always next year, and the year after, and after that.

For now I settle for everyone else being happy over myself beaming after a good day.

Alas, poor Yorick!

So, I figured it would be interesting to sit down and just start writing a Death Letter, and it kind of was! And since I don't really plan on dying anytime soon, and it'll likely change over the years, I give it to you now. Don't take this too seriously, or as a suicide note, I'm not that stupid. Plus, didn't I just say I wasn't planning on dying soon?

To Whom It May Concern:

 

So, you’re reading this, well, guess what that means for me. If you guessed that I’m dead, YOU WIN! If you guessed something else, well, I think we both know what that means. Anyway, I’d like to think that if you’re reading this that you care about the fact that I’m dead, though I’m sure some of you would like to simply get your hands on my stuff, or you’re a lawyer. Either way it doesn’t matter. How could you offend a dead guy? For those of you who care: don’t let my untimely, for I’m sure it was untimely (when the hell is a good time to die?), death worry you. I have never feared death, but rather looked at it as a particularly difficult question, one I could not answer. I’m glad the end has come. I’m tired of waiting. And now I finally get to know the answer. My death letter is not filled with confessions, nor apologies or regrets. No, a death letter should not make the writer feel better, but you, the reader. I can’t say I’m in a “better place” I don’t really believe that. The best place was with you, all of you. No, I am leaving the better place, but still this is no reason to mourn or be sad.

 

I think I’d like to share some of my life philosophies with you, maybe through them you will see how I can say all this and not be a dramatic, lying fool.  First, I firmly believe that life is not but choice. You face an innumerable amount of choices and decisions in life, and each one, no matter how small, changes your life in someway. I do not believe in Fate, I’m a Free-Will kind of guy…or was at least, I am dead now aren’t I? I also believe firmly that the purpose of life is simply to live. Live your life, be it to the fullest of merely the amount you feel comfortable with, there is no wrong way. Live life and live it without regrets about what you did or worries about what you might do. And finally, try not to worry about what others think of you, you are your own person. Who cares if they don’t like it, or they find you strange? What matters is what you think about yourself. You want to do it? Do it. You want to say it? Say it. Would you like to base jump off the Empire State Building? Fuck them, go for it!

 

Now I’d like to request certain things of you for my funeral. One, burn and salt me, just in case. Two, if I’m married, please do not allow my wife to observe that ridiculous Indian (as in India) tradition of jumping on the flames, it’s just silly. Three, I would like a Speaker for the Dead; hopefully this letter will give you enough to do it. And finally, if no one objects, could you take the ashes back to San Diego and throw them in the ocean. I know the last one is silly and trivial. I’m dead what do I care happens to the remains? But it would create a nice cycle if I were to end up dead where I was born. Also, if you could get some strippers to co…. no? Okay then, just thought I’d ask.

 

I shall end on a serious note, I would be grateful until the day I die…..poor choice of words, but you get it. Anyway, what I was saying was, if you could Rick Roll my funeral it would be HILARIOUS!

 

Well, that’s it. I guess I won’t miss you (again that whole dead thing…), but know that I could not have asked for a better life.

Yours most sincerely and forever,

Michael D. Hair (aka: Mike, Mikey, Hair, Coco, and the Six String Charmer ;) )

If the perfect person was to be described, could it be done? Do the words necessary to do so even exist? I certainly do not know. Surely the perfect person would be caring, but that word isn’t nearly strong enough. The perfect person must also have a heart of gold, an undying urge to do the utmost good and help everyone they meet. The load the perfect person would bear is unfathomable at best. I know I would crumble before the shear weight of the perfect person’s heart.

 

That is but the start. The perfect person must be funny as well. No, the person could not be funny, rather hilarious, the type of person that can keep you laughing for hours on end, without even trying. That would be more accurate. And with this ability to make people laugh would come the ability to make friends easily. Yes, the perfect person would be friends with anyone and everyone.

 

Really, I have barely scratched the surface of this wonderful person. There is more to a person than just being caring and humorous, luckily the perfect person has it all. One of the most important things about a person is that person’s character, and the perfect person’s character could not have been written any better and need no work. The most reliable person imaginable, the perfect person will always come through for you. Real honesty is hard to come by, but the perfect person even possesses that.

 

Alas, I leave you with a few final, knowledgeable thoughts. Though it is nearly impossible to describe the perfect person, the fact remains that a person such as this exists. I am here to tell you this and you can take me at my word. After all, I have vowed to tell you the truth.

 

Even now this person is on my mind; creeping among my consciousness and weaving through my thoughts. I can see them in this little text of mine. Maybe you do too.

H-A-I-R

So yeah, I've been really bored the past few days, and out of boredom comes stupid stuff, but here the stupidest yet:

Music in my heart

Intelligent from the start

Crazy on guitar

Honesty will get you far

Arrogant yes I know

Experimenting in Show Low

Loyalty is what you get

 

Don’t forget my wit

Always alone in the sun

Vernacular, I have a large one

Idiosyncrasies, I have a few

Don’t touch the fro of the Jew

 

Habit of quoting

Assessment

Indeed

Repose

Poetry

I thought I might try my hand at a little poetry(sorry Kim, I know it's your territory). I thought what is a song but vocal poetry. So here it is, the first poem I've ever written outside of english.

Life: What it is

Hair

 

If life is choice

I choose to live

If life’s a game

I hope I win

If life is more

Then tell me now

If life’s surprise

Don’t let me know

 

If I could have

What I wanted

When I wanted

Then life lost point

If I’m patient

Then I will wait

And what I want

Will come to me

 

Yes, life is choice

I choose to live

Yes, life’s a game

I aim to win

Yes, life is more

Of this I’m sure

Yes, life’s surprise

Just wait and see

Now that I’m thinking about it again, man, I was a nervous wreck. You know, I just kinda walked up to her and asked, “So you really want to know why I’ve been so quiet?” She said, “Yeah, of course.” I said, “I’m really nervous because I want to talk to the girl that I really like, and now I am.”

She made a sound like an “aww” but it was different somehow. Then she hugged me and said that she didn’t know, didn’t know what to say or what to do. I told her she didn’t have to do or say anything; that I just wanted to be honest with her. Then I made a joke to kinda lighten things up and we walked out of the classroom together without a word. We split up in the hall and that was that.

(Sorry if that not how you remember it, I took some creative license)

 

So yeah, I had a pretty damn good day overall. I don’t have to go to school at all tomorrow. I’m proud of myself for having A’s in all my classes for the first time since like second grade. I’m proud of myself for doing what I thought was right despite the fact that I nearly puked from nerves and anxiety. I’m really happy with the friends I’ve surrounded myself with, they’re all cool in their own way, they all make me happy, and they’re all really important to me.

I still love my guitar, I don’t care if that is or sounds weird. My guitar is my release, my best friend, my therapist, my mirror, even my teacher.

Talking with Kara this afternoon about college and the future really got me thinking and, honestly, it scared me. Call me stupid, but for the first time I really realized what the next two years of my life will mean. I’ve been in school for 12 years of my life, that’s ¾’s of my life. I really haven’t known anything else but school. Yeah, college is still school, but it’s not the same, it’s not as frivolous, not as care free. College will literally define my future. Who I will become, and what I will do. But I’m just 16! What the fuck do I know? Call me childish for wanting to cling on to my comfortable world and not wanting to go out and experience new things, but that’s just it, I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Give it another year and a half and maybe, who knows? Maybe I’ll have it all figured out, where I’m going, what I want to do, but for now, screw that, I just want to be happy. I choose to be happy.

Yeah, You Heard Right, Fuck The World

            I’d like to apologize right now for two things: what I’m about to write and for being such a jerk/dirt-bag/downer today, but here is the story.

 

            So, yesterday was pretty lame. I brought my guitar to school, but I really didn’t want to ride with it on the bus, so I purposely missed the bus, planning to call my mom for a ride, my parents had taken the day off, so I thought it wouldn’t do much harm. Murphy’s Law is a bitch. No matter which phone I called, no one picked up. I had no ride. So for some reason I decide to wander around. I ran into Stewie, thank god. He was kind enough to offer to take me home, even though it was in the completely opposite direction. So I got home, relieved that I was spared the hassle of walking. My parents got home a little while after I did. I told them what had happened and they were perplexed as to why they didn’t hear my mom’s cell ring, but all was apologized for and all was forgiven. For some reason, after I got back to my room, my dad told me my mom thought I was mad at her, I said of course not, he left, but poked his head back into the room and asked if I was mad at anyone. Again I said no. Why did they think I was mad? I had not, to my knowledge, given the slightest indication of anger, and I had not gotten mad in a long time, I simply stopped letting thing get to me. I grew frustrated as I realized my parents don’t really know anymore. And as I looked back, they have not truly known me for sometime now. The only things they know about my life are what I tell them, and I don’t really tell them much. I’ve never told them how I felt about leaving SD, nor have they ever known all of my friends. Hell, I don’t even think they could tell you what classes I’m taking. I had a very sheltered first five years of life, something, I think, that has to do with my mom’s attachment to her final child, but once I got my first bit of independence, I ran off with it. I mean even now, I’m only a month away from complete self-dependence. In a month I can drive myself, to and from school, and to and from a job. Mobility and income; that’s all I require.

 

            Anyway, it angered me how little my parent knew about me. Then 3 different friends annoyed me within a minute of each other. This all combined to make me even angrier, which in turn, frustrated me because I thought I had gotten past petty anger.

 

            So about this time is when I get the message that almost never bids well: “I have some good news and some bad news.”

 

            I was told something that I’ve been told before and something I don’t doubt I’ll be told again. I was told the one opinion based statement that gets to me, and the one time where I actually care about what someone else thinks of me I get emotionally nuked. Anyway, the next series of events happened simultaneously sped up and in slow motion. It is a blurred memory of attempted cheep ups and something that can only be described as bullshit, pure bullshit, concentrated bullshit, or the most bullshit I’ve ever seen. So as a friend works hard to cheer me up, a person I haven’t talked to in awhile messages me. This person was the last person I wanted to talk to. She is inquiring as to my new messenger status message, “Fuck everything in this pitiful, disgraceful, piss poor excuse of a world.” I tell her what happened, because for whatever reason I am incapable of staying mean or holding a grudge. So she then expresses her sorrow for my situation. Then she starts to fucking complain to me, and not just about things in her life, she starts complaining about something I did. I really couldn’t believe it. The pure nerve required to amass that much bullshit is staggering.

 

            So after mentally telling her to go jump of a cliff and burn in hell, I do what I always do, I fucking helped her, was kind to her, and eased her worried mind. God, I kind of wish that I was mean because the fact that I didn’t do what I thought would make me feel better and instead made her feel better really irked me.

 

            As all this was going on, I get another message asking what was wrong, this one I was afraid of. I didn’t what to say.  I mean how I was feeling was a result of what this person said, but I didn’t want them to know and I really didn’t want to drag them down with me. I said the same thing I said to the other messages I got, I didn’t want to talk about it, a thinly veiled attempt to avoid the question, I know, but I could think of what to do, not now at least.

 

            Anyway, I called it a night and when to bed. It was about 10:30. I didn’t get to sleep until about 1.

 

            Then, today I was in a horrible mood and despite several offers to wear the hat, it persisted, then a reminder about the English benchmark ignited a spark of a “fuck this” attitude. Luckily the benchmark was easy; otherwise I would have just bubbled in anything. Reading To Kill a Mockingbird didn’t help because I read the part where (SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!! LOOK AWAY!!!!!) Tom dies, and that made me twice as made at the injustice of the world and the stupidity of people.

 

            Then I still didn’t know what to tell them, no matter how many times they asked, I said “nothing” or “I don’t want to talk about it”. I don’t know... I was still really sad and not really thinking straight. Playing guitar with Theo made me a little happier and by the time lunch was over I was in a decent mood, I guess all I needed was some release in the form of awesome guitar playing and sound effects.

 

            All was well, that is until I went to the Councilor’s Office and got my schedule changed because they were taking to long to call me in. So to get Calculus I had to drop guitar, thanks a fucking lot state of Arizona with your stupid fucking program thing that I don’t even remember the name of but re-pissed me off for the tenth time in the past 24 hours.

 

            So then while I was walking home and recovering from the hell that is my bus, I realized what a giant douche I had been all day and felt guilty for behaving like I did. So I wanted to write something to tell you ALL that I value your friendships and kindness more than anything, and I never want to bring anyone’s mood down, and that I’m just plain sorry.

 

And for those sorry few of you that are playing the game and have not realized how lame it is, yeah, you just lost.

The Last of the W.I.P.'s

Ok so the next few songs I post are extreme works in progress, I mean that most of them don’t even have an ending yet. The only reason I’m posting them is to get some sort of input/help with them. So here they are, bunched together for your reading convenience:

 

Dreaming About You

Hair

 

And now I’m dreaming about you

While I’m lying in bed

And now I’m dreaming about you

And what I could’ve said

And now I’m dreaming about you

In the middle of class

While I’m dreaming about you

I just hope it will last

 

You once asked me if I’d ditch my friends

To go and hang with you

Well here’s the whole damn truth

I’d go to Hades and back for you

I’d do anything just to see you

Or maybe hear your laugh

I’d go anywhere to be with you

The most wonderful girl in the world

 

Yeah….that’s all I got on this one, and I was told there was a very similar song in existence, so that sucks, especially with no way to record myself on video. INPUT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

 

(untitled)

Hair

 

When I was just sixteen

I had a crush on you

The next thing I remember

I was crying over you

 

You said you didn’t like me

That we’d only just be friends

Well I was quite reluctant

To let that be the end

 

So I wrote down this song

You said you really liked it

I said it was about you

And you became really quiet

 

Now that was the beginning

And we haven’t met our end

We just spend our whole days grinning

To hell with “just be friends”

 

Yeah, again that’s all I got for now, and I can’t tell you how long I’ve spent in front of these things writing and rewriting and never quite satisfied. So really, screw gratitude and compliments, the best gift you could give me is criticism!

 

(untitled….again)

Hair

 

You mean the world to me

And I want you to understand

So I’ve put into words

The promises I vow never to break

And I’ll do whatever it takes

To be a constant source of light

In a seemingly endless night

 

When there are bumps in your road

Then onto me you can hold

When there’s too much drama in your life

And your world if full of strife

And you want some place to hide

I’ll be there to take you by my side

To a place know only to us

 

And if it rains on your parade

You’re just so sick and tired of this charade

Then I’ll hand you an umbrella

Treat you like Cinderella

‘Cause I can’t stand to see you

 

Sad or mad or maybe

Just sick of it and crazy

Everything’s gone a little hazy

But I’ll always be there baby

to give you a blue daisey

And brighten up your day

I don’t care what anyone else might say

 

So there it is my promise to you

A promise I’ve made to none but a few

These vows I’ve never broken

We shall keep them as a token

Of the time we shared together

And that I will always remember

 

Ok, so, I personally don’t like the Cinderella line all that much, but WTF else rhymes with umbrella???? Same drill, only this time take the time and do it!

 

Yeah, I know, I sound like I freaking broken record; always singing about love and what not, and always asking for you help with my lame songs, but you’re in luck, that’s the last of them.

A Man Amongst Friends

So I thought that I’d jump on the 10-bad-things-and-10-good-things-to-say-to-people bandwagon. But as I tried to write them I found out that I really had nothing bad to say. We all have our faults and I can’t really sit here and pick at them because I know I have so many. I know some of you didn’t like me at first, I know you didn’t want me interrupting your circle of friends, but now, I think, now you have had a chance to see the real me, or at least as much as I can stand to share. I think that every single person that will read this knows that I like them, that I’m almost glad to have moved just to meet some of the people I have. If you’re reading this and thinking “Is he talking about me?” the answer is yes.

 

Even as I tried to write the nice things I couldn’t because I think things lose meaning if they have to be written to be understood. I guess what I’ve been trying to get at is this: I don’t care if occasionally you annoy me or say something bad about me, it’s enough for me to know that I’d rather put up with all of your little faults, than to be where I was 5 months ago. In other words, thank you all for being you, for better or for worse, thank you.

The Move

Hair

 

So this is farewell

I say good bye to you

I bid you all ado

I hope to see you sometime soon

 

I’m still in love with you

I don’t know what to do

I’m going somewhere new

Gonna be so far from you

 

I don’t want to say good-bye

Don’t want anyone to cry

Just look you in the eye

And heave a heavy sigh

 

There’s nothing more to say

But I’ll be back again one day

And I’ll meet you by the bay

And if we’re lucky I’ll stay

Same drill people, Critique it, PLEASE! Also, this one isn't about love of a person, but of a place. It sounds odd, but i wrote this for San Diego. I LOVE YOU BABY!

Alarm Clock

 

God I hate this stupid thing

Every time I hear it freaking ring

Always waking me up

Even if I don’t want to

Always waking me up

I think I’ll hit it with my shoe

 

I swear it beeps just to piss me off

Always going off at 6 o’ clock

I’d really like to cut its cord

Or run it over with my Ford

I’ll throw it out the window

God you do not even know

 

I really love waking up

To the song the birds sing

I really hate waking up

To the sound of that freaking ring

 

And if I had my way

I’d make them all go away

All these damn alarm clocks

SCREW ‘EM ALL!

 

So, yeah, that’s pretty much what goes through my head every single morning, so I thought why not make it a song? Also this is the clean version, the original one o wrote down was filled with unneeded cussing, but if you want to know what it is like with the cussing, just replace all the “freaking”’s and the final screw with the F-Bomb.

 

Also, I’m not a big fan of the ending so any suggestions would be nice. And feel free to critique the song, creative input is always welcome.

First Finished Song

But not really, I would really appreciate any criticism from anyone who reads this. So here it is and I hope you enjoy it.

Uncertainty

I can’t tell you how I’m feeling

‘Cause I don’t really know myself

I can’t tell you how I’m feeling

But I sure could use your help

 

I think I might be in love

But that would be a first

Could you give me some of your love?

For that is what I thirst

 

I’ve just been walkin’ ‘round town

With these thoughts stuck in my head

Feelin’ up and feelin’ down

Just going where I’m led

 

Maybe with you there to help me

I could lead a normal life

And if you were to love me

It wouldn’t be filled with so much strife

 

And when you need me to be there

You know I always will

Maybe as a shoulder to cry on

Or who would you have me kill?

 

My road is just so unclear

And now I have to go

I would have nothing to fear

But there are so many unknowns

 

Even with all this uncertainty

There’s one thing that I know

I’d stay with you for eternity

That’s all you really need to know

ABC Story Time

For those of you who are not familiar with ABC stories here’s a brief explanation: It is a 26 sentence story in which each sentence begins with a letter of the alphabet starting with A and progressing to Z.

 

            As I walked towards the building I looked for her and there she was waiting for me. Beautiful, intelligent, funny, and care-free, she had it all. Carefully I approached her; afraid, as always, that I’d make a fool out of myself. “Damn near thought you wouldn’t show!” she exclaimed. Even my death wouldn’t keep me from being there for her, but there’s no need for her to know that, not yet anyway. “Fought traffic all the way here, sorry.” I said with a lopsided grin. Gallantly I took her arm in mine and led her into the restaurant. Half way through the meal we forgot all about food we were so deep in conversation. Indeed, just being in her presence, talking to her, making her laugh was enough to sustain me for eternity. Just as the clock hit nine we walked out the door into the frigid night air. “Keep warm.” I said as I handed her my jacket while we walked down the street. “Let me ask you something.” she whispered softly. Man she looked so cute wrapped up in my coat, her large eyes searching my face, asking of me only the truth. “Not a problem,” I told her with a reassuring smile, “you’re always free to ask me anything.” “Of everything you know about me, what do you like the best?” she asked. “Perhaps it’s my hair, or eyes, or something…” she offered when I hesitated. “Quite the opposite” I said. Revealing everything I told her this. “Sometimes, when you think no one’s looking, you smile to yourself at some private joke. Then there’s your laugh; just hearing it makes me feel enlivened and intoxicated by….you!” Usually one smiles when they receive a compliment; she started crying. Valor is not my forte, but none the less I asked why she was crying. “Well, it’s ‘cause you’re different from every other guy I’ve ever gone out with; I mean you always make me feel so damn good about myself and it’s overwhelmingly wonderful and valuable to me.” Xanax couldn’t cure what was going on inside me. “You know, I think I might love you…” she let this last thought trail off. Zoning out at that moment probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

Because everyone needs more 

Monty Python in their lives,

not to mention spam.

The Best Day of My Life

 

Honestly I did not think the best day of my life, so far, I must add, would take place in Show Low, Arizona, but it did. It was Saturday November 15, 2008. Now Aca-Dec-ers will recognize this as the day of the Round Valley skirmish. Drama kids will recognize this as closing night of The Outsiders. For those of us who are both, we will fondly remember this day as a really frickin’ long one. From waking up at 4:30 AM Saturday to finally going to bed at 2:00 AM Sunday, the day was, needless to say, extensively long.

 

I’ll start my story at the most logical place, the beginning. In the beginning there was little light and little time to get ready. Ben pulled into my driveway just as I was finishing piecing together my “business attire”. Black shirt, black pants, black shoes, Cadillac. Well, no Cadillac, but the rest applies, with the addition of a silver tie. I thought I looked rather snazzy. We left my house listening to Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged album and headed for Cassidi’s. We reached the sweet, warm relief of her fireplace and waited for her to come down. As we waited we marveled at the mansion she called a house and admired the art that adorned the living area.

 

Next, Ben hit the bank and we headed for Kim’s house. We picked her up quickly and headed for school, where we found a bus waiting for us. As I said then, “I feel like royalty; having an entire bus waiting for us.”

 

And so the bus ride began. It wasn’t a very long one, but angst and worry about the competition stretched it out.  I tried to play it as cool as possible, but as it was my first competition, I was actually more nervous than I let on.

 

So, Competition; I did rather badly over all, not having touched Bless Me Ultima, or Music or Art, I did poorly on those tests. Econ went alright, so did Social Science. My essay did okay too. Getting second in Varsity Super Quiz was a bit of a surprise, I did well, but I didn’t think I’d medal. Then Math; as many of you know that one really pissed me off. We started the test about ten minutes before we had to go do Speech and Interview. Because everyone else didn’t even bother to try on the test I was the only one who complained afterwards, but who could blame me!?! I thought math would be my one medal! As my speech says, there’s no point to dwell upon the past, so I’ll stop complaining. Speaking of Speech and Interview for that matter, Impromptu went well for me, not so much the Prepared. I thought I did okay on interview, but did worse than expected.

 

Skipping over our trip to Safeway for lunch, that brings us to Super Quiz. I cannot express how proud and ecstatic I felt after Super Quiz. Our team was amazing and I could not have been happier to be apart of it. We started off strong by nailing our first five questions, yes I know you’ll all think that I’m patting my self on the back, but really my initial success was just the launch off point for the entire team to do well. Tying for second with St. Johns was a superb achievement.

 

I’d like to officially congratulate everyone who medaled at skirmish and officially announce my loathing of Blue Ridge for taking 75% of the awards. Kayla thinks that means I have school spirit; really I just have my pride. And Ben, the look on your face when you got third in Art was priceless.

 

The excitement during the bus ride home was tangible, though as we neared town the mental drain started to take its toll. I think we had like an hour to kill before call for closing night, and as usual I hung out with Ben and Kim, my best friends here in Show Low. Then it was time for the last performance of one of the worst plays I’ve ever worked on, as an experience I mean, not quality wise. Strike was…interesting. As usual the vast majority of the cast stood around doing nothing and ended up leaving early. Eventually Ben, Kim and I left for the cast party at Cassidi’s. When we got there I wandered around talking to the few people I liked, claiming ownership of Kyle’s left nipple, and signing the shirts. That’s about the time Kara and I started talking. I had the feeling that we had become friends somewhere during that night, more specifically during that night’s performance. I had kept her laughing all night, at one point she was on the floor because she was laughing so hard. 

Anyway, we were talking when Cassidi mention something about upstairs and almost everyone head up there. There was talk about a flirting game, it sounded rather childish to me, so eventually Kim brought me back downstairs to enjoy some Roque Delight. That was pretty awesome and I never thought one could use Mr. Willard's name and the word “delight” in the same sentence and not be sarcastic, but by George I was wrong. A little time later we had to go; damn Ben’s dad. That’s when the day finished in a high note. 

As I turned to leave I took one last glimpse over my shoulder and noticed the girl that I had developed a rather soft spot for over the past couple of weeks beckoning me over with her forefinger. We exchanged some brief words, none of which held any importance to me; I was lost in her eyes. Then she startled me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and we embraced. The moment stretched into eternity in my mind. All thought was erased. For all I cared it could have been just me and her in each others arms forever. We let each other go. Thought and motor functions returned to me and I left.

 

It may or may not have meant anything to her, but to this wounded soul, it meant that I was still capable of having a normal relationship with a girl; that I don’t always fuck it up somehow or someway. She may have just been being nice to me, but the fact that within a few weeks we’d gone from brief acquaintances to friends, a friend that she feels comfortable enough to show even the lowest manner of intimacy with, tells me that I’m doing something right.

 

If you knew me better, any of you, you might understand why this is such a big deal for me. Maybe I’ll tell that story another time, but for now, I’ll just enjoy the feeling of not being a fuck-up.

I looked at my kingdom

I was finally there

To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

There You Go Kim

Threes Tag

What are the last three things you purchased?

Food

Food

Food

(I sense a trend)

 

What are the last three songs you downloaded??

Ummm probably something by Daft Punk or something

 

What are the last three places you visited??

Round Valley

Show Low

San Diego

 

What are your three favorite movies??

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

V for Vendetta

Star Wars Episode VI

 

Right now I feel like??

A sloth

Your mom when I’m done with her

A churro

 

What are your three favorite possessions??

My guitar

My Computer

My iPod

 

What three things can you not live without??

My guitar

My Computer

My iPod

 

What would be your three wishes??

For her to like me back (no not who you may think)

Never to have to worry about money

For my mom’s dream to come true

 

******************************

What three things haven’t you done yet??

Anything I really want to

(Trust me that’s more than 3)

 

What are your three favorite dishes??

Steak! Mmmm Steak!

Graham Crackers and Milk

Mexican food

 

Which three celebrities would you most like to hang out with??

I hate the deification of celebrities

 

Name three things that freak you out??

Spiders

The lack of intelligence I see everywhere

The fact that our country is run by those people

 

Name three unusual things you are good at.??

Nothing I’m good at is unusual

Unique is extinct

Which three things are you coveting??

Her

What my two new friends share

A new Fender Stratocaster in the Sun Burnt color

Tag three bloggers to do it!??

I don’t know anyone so just take it as an open invitation

to anyone who wants to do this, it’s actually pretty fun